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Post by misilon1 on Dec 17, 2006 14:27:40 GMT 12
;DI had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by my wife to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or else... I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task. I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I then withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I ten withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink which I drank. I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank. I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the glass. I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle. Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour. When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks with the other, which were twenty-nine, and as the houses came by I counted them again, and finally I had all the houses in one bottle, which I drank, I'm not under tha affluence ofincohol as some tinkle peep I am. I'm not half as thunk as you might drink. I fool so feelish I don't know who is me, and the drunker I stand here, the longer I get. Cheers!!!!!!! ;D by courtesy of "corrupt policeman"
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Post by oasisnz on Dec 17, 2006 14:32:28 GMT 12
HAHAHA ;D
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Dalbyj
Chief of Staff
Hope Springs a Kernal
Posts: 2,378
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Post by Dalbyj on Dec 17, 2006 18:18:12 GMT 12
hehe ... that reminds me of an old recipe for a plum pudding I think it was .. I'll see if I can find it!
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Dalbyj
Chief of Staff
Hope Springs a Kernal
Posts: 2,378
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Post by Dalbyj on Dec 17, 2006 18:23:28 GMT 12
Found it! aint google great!
Brandy Plum Pudding Recipe: 1 or 2 bottles Brandy 1 cup butter 1 teaspoon sugar 2 large eggs 1 cup dried fruit baking powder 1 teaspoon soda lemon juice brown sugar nuts Before you start, sample the brandy to check for quality. Good, isn't it? Now go ahead. Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc. Check the brandy again. It must be just right. To be sue brandy is of the highest quality, pour one level cup of brandy into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat. With an electric mixer, beat 1 cup butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 seaspoon of thugar and beat again. Meanwhile, make sue that the rum is of the finest quality. Try another cup. Open second bottle if necessary. Add 2 arge leggs, 2 cups fried druit and beat till high. If druit gets stuck in beaters, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the brandy again, checking for tonscisticity. Next sift 3 cups of pepper or salt (it really doesn't matter.) Sample the brandy again. Sift + pint of lemon juice. Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts. Add 1 babblespoon of brown thugar, or what ever color you can find. Wix mel. Grease oven and turn cake pan to 350 gredees. Now pour the whole mess into the coven and ake. Check the brandy again, and bo to ged.
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Manukarose
Administrator
Honorary Founding Member
Posts: 1,175
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Post by Manukarose on Dec 17, 2006 18:40:27 GMT 12
yum dalbyj (don't u make that when u come!) and mis! Nice one!
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Post by misilon1 on Dec 17, 2006 18:54:51 GMT 12
dalbyj if you have anymore grab them ,.for us
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Post by misilon1 on Dec 19, 2006 20:36:49 GMT 12
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station...
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Post by misilon1 on Dec 23, 2006 22:27:02 GMT 12
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each on e in turn. When he finished all three, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender says to him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it, it would taste better if you bought one at a time." The Irishman replies, "well you see, I have two brothers, one is in America and the other is in Australia, and I am here in Dublin. When we all left home we promised that we would drink this way to remember the days that we all drank together." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar and always drinks the same way, he orders three pints and drinks the three pints by taking drinks from each of them in turn.
One day he comes in and orders 2 pints, all the other regulars in the bar notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss. The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then light dawns in his eyes and he laughs... Oh no, he says Everyone is fine, it's me......
I've quit drinking.....
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Post by dragoneyes on Jan 7, 2007 18:31:14 GMT 12
ha ha very good misi i liked that
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Post by misilon1 on Jan 11, 2007 12:32:55 GMT 12
dragon try to come more often ,...but I know tho ,...thank you for coming this time,....one of my girls is nicknamed dragon cos she was so grumpy when she was lilltle ,...nothing much has changed she is worse ,....god help any of us if we called her that in the outside world,.hehe!! please call in again post again ok,.?
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Post by OasisNZ on Jan 11, 2007 18:43:33 GMT 12
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station... Hehe, that's a clever one...
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Post by misilon1 on Jun 22, 2007 8:01:49 GMT 12
.... A dwarf with a lisp wins lotto and decides to buy a race horse. At the stable he finally settles on one he really likes, he asks the owner if he could pick him up so he can have a good look at his head, he has nice eyes and teeth lovely eaths a stwong neck and a gweat coat.....do you think I could now see its twot now. Strange request thinks the owner, so he lifts up the tail of the horse and shoves the dwarf right in there,a few minutes later the dwarf comes out spitting and spluttering and says, perhaps I should of said, can I see it,s gallop.
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Post by Suzie on Jun 22, 2007 12:29:33 GMT 12
hmmm, should I worry that I can actually read and understand no.1?
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Post by OasisNZ on Jun 22, 2007 12:33:07 GMT 12
Na, just have another one, LOL!
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Post by Aglarana on Jun 25, 2007 16:20:55 GMT 12
hmmm, should I worry that I can actually read and understand no.1? If you ever attempt to actually make that Brandy cake, THEN you should be worried. lol.
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Post by misilon1 on Jul 6, 2007 18:32:05 GMT 12
The government is sneaky. They raise the tax on alcohol, then make sure that the country is in such a mess that you drink more.
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Post by misilon1 on Jul 6, 2007 18:33:16 GMT 12
A girl walked into a shop to buy curtains. She went up to the salesman and said, "I want those curtains in pink, the size of my computer screen. The salesman said, "Computers don't need curtains." The girl said, "Hellooo, I have windows!"
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Post by meandog on Jul 6, 2007 19:14:06 GMT 12
;D I have that stored away as a 'blonde' joke. LMAO
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