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Post by ivyplus on Oct 17, 2006 15:55:39 GMT 12
Dear Mands! Another problem is arising! We try to dance and I want to lead too! Why can't Oasis understand that times changed! Cheers, ivy Dear Ivy While I think that 'he' should see that times have indeed changed, I think you are tackling this problem the wrong way around. Now ... I know from your previous letters to "Dear Mands" that you are quite an intelligent lady, so this is what I suggest you do. You go along with him, and let him lead ... and you let him get his way for a full few hours until he is putty in your hand. Then ANYTHING you ask you will receive. Some things that should be on the list would be massages, three course meals, housework, trip to Wanganui, almost anything u desire. Be smart Ivy and remain in control. Mands xxx Thanks for that, Mands. I will try to tackle the problem as you mention and I could imagine I will be successful!
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Post by ivyplus on Oct 17, 2006 15:58:19 GMT 12
Dear Mands! Often I am too busy during the day and forget to drink my water! In the evening I have a headache and Oasis is complaining! Hope you find a solution! Cheers, ivy Dear Ivy This is quite a complex problem made up of a few 'little' problems. Now we could tackle each one individually or tackle the ONE problem that would probably eliminate all the others and that is the complaining part. I know a little man down south ( A wwwayyy down south) who has invented this microchip, that when swallowed embeds itself into the bowel of the complainee. Which means that with a remote control you can actually mute the complainee. A gag has been suggested by my faithful 'staff' who will always remain unnamed, but too easily removed I think. Please let me know if I should contact my little man and retrieve one of these ground breaking chips for you. Hope I have helped. Mands Cheers, Mands! That would be worth a trial! Could you get hold of two please? I have a teenager I want to mute sometimes too!
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Post by meandog on Oct 17, 2006 18:53:51 GMT 12
Dear Mands I am being plagued with these wee problems. I just realised I have sat for hours in the past in a hospital bed making macrame potplant hangers. I also sold them to the staff even one to the hospital chaplain. Do you think anyone will think I am a 'nancy' for doing something that took the hassles of my condition away, due to the intense concentration of my work? I only sold them at the cost of materials so that is not worrying me, but I do not want to have to solve peeps problems if they get in a knot so to speak.LOL.
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Manukarose
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Post by Manukarose on Oct 17, 2006 19:20:38 GMT 12
Dear Mands I am being plagued with these wee problems. I just realised I have sat for hours in the past in a hospital bed making macrame potplant hangers. I also sold them to the staff even one to the hospital chaplain. Do you think anyone will think I am a 'nancy' for doing something that took the hassles of my condition away, due to the intense concentration of my work? I only sold them at the cost of materials so that is not worrying me, but I do not want to have to solve peeps problems if they get in a knot so to speak.LOL. Dear Mascullinemacramemaker Perhaps the words of my son may help you here: He has dyspraxia and finds school very difficult but has found solice in that he has become top of his class in cooking and in sewing. He turned to me and said: WHY ARE ALL THE CHILDREN MAKING FUN OF ME? I said, jealousy, don't u know that best chefs and the best fashion designers are men? I am sure meandog that somewhere out there ... amongst the troubled populace, there is a world reknown MALE Macramemaker. Don't let anyone ever put you down for doing something you enjoy. Sorry! Was this post TOOO serious? Well ... ummm ... paint them all blue!!!!! Mands
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Dalbyj
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Hope Springs a Kernal
Posts: 2,378
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Post by Dalbyj on Oct 19, 2006 7:20:16 GMT 12
Dear Mands,
Another work problem here ... yesterday I finished work at 2:29 but I put 2:30 on my time sheet. Am I cheating my employer?
Signed, office girl
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Post by ivyplus on Oct 19, 2006 17:12:05 GMT 12
Dear Mands, Another problem is arising. I went to an organic gardening course and the tutor told us that "pee" is a good fertiliser for citrus trees. I asked Oasis if he would assist and use a watering can! But he is strictly refusing!
Cheers, Ivy
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Manukarose
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Post by Manukarose on Oct 19, 2006 18:31:24 GMT 12
Dear Mands, Another work problem here ... yesterday I finished work at 2:29 but I put 2:30 on my time sheet. Am I cheating my employer? Signed, office girl Dear Office girl ... To appease your conscience just work out what 1 minutes worth of wages is and refund them along with a note of apology. Or perhaps turn up a minute earlier tomorrow? Or boycott coffee until you are allowed chocolate and that will mean they owe YOU extra time! Mands
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Manukarose
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Post by Manukarose on Oct 19, 2006 18:35:52 GMT 12
Dear Mands, Another problem is arising. I went to an organic gardening course and the tutor told us that "pee" is a good fertiliser for citrus trees. I asked Oasis if he would assist and use a watering can! But he is strictly refusing! Cheers, Ivy Dear Ivy I think if you googled the chemical make-up of most men's urine - you will find just a few common properties which could easily by assimulated. Follow the following recipe and this should actually provide what your partner cannot or will not. 1 can of beer (the stronger the better) 5 Cups of a caffeine based beverage Contents of one capsule starting with 'V'. and mix up the contents of one very cheesy pizza and a piece of KFC in a blender and drain it. Add the juice and WOOHLAH!! Hope this helps Mands
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Post by ivyplus on Oct 19, 2006 19:08:13 GMT 12
Dear Mands, Another problem is arising. I went to an organic gardening course and the tutor told us that "pee" is a good fertiliser for citrus trees. I asked Oasis if he would assist and use a watering can! But he is strictly refusing! Cheers, Ivy Dear Ivy I think if you googled the chemical make-up of most men's urine - you will find just a few common properties which could easily by assimulated. Follow the following recipe and this should actually provide what your partner cannot or will not. 1 can of beer (the stronger the better) 5 Cups of a caffeine based beverage Contents of one capsule starting with 'V'. and mix up the contents of one very cheesy pizza and a piece of KFC in a blender and drain it. Add the juice and WOOHLAH!! Hope this helps Mands Hello Mands, You are probably right with the common properties of most mens pee. And I will try your substitute. Otherwise I might have to ask ladypenelope. I have heard she can get hold of special accessories that ladies can pee standing. ;D
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Post by meandog on Oct 20, 2006 9:31:54 GMT 12
Dear Mands, I have this delusion to watch paint dry and try and guess how long is a piece of string , is there any hope for cure of this unusual complaint?
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Manukarose
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Post by Manukarose on Oct 21, 2006 19:03:40 GMT 12
Dear Mands, I have this delusion to watch paint dry and try and guess how long is a piece of string , is there any hope for cure of this unusual complaint? Dear Deluded Drypaintwatcher, Well I don't think you are deluded at all, most deluded people do not know they are deluded, and watching paint dry is quite an acceptable pasttime ... it is not violent, nor does it encourage one to overdrink or participate in hobbies they may be hazardous to your health or that of others. So really, you don't have a problem at all!! (I have to know though - what is your favourite colour paint that you enjoy watching to dry?) As far as the string thing goes, that is symbolic that you are feeling that life is becoming shorter and shorter and that the autumn/winter months of your life is approaching. Simple remedy there: GET A LONGER PIECE OF STRING! Mands
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Post by meandog on Oct 21, 2006 19:47:43 GMT 12
Right thanks for that, runs off to Mitre 10 for a BIG ball of string and 4 litres of paint. Oops! just about forgot my Flybuys card.LOL
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Dalbyj
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Hope Springs a Kernal
Posts: 2,378
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Post by Dalbyj on Oct 23, 2006 16:35:40 GMT 12
Dear Mands,
Something bothers me every time I enter this part of the message board. Under the topic 'Hobbies' the word pursuits is spelled wrong. This really annoys me and I find I cannot enter that part of the message board. Is this normal or should I see a psychiatrist?
Signed, Spell checker
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Manukarose
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Post by Manukarose on Oct 24, 2006 11:42:55 GMT 12
Dear Spellchecker,
If it weren't for people like you who looked after our bad vocabulary we'd be speaking Australian by now!
So keep it up!!
Almost as bad as people who spell surname: sirname!
(for those onlooking that was me!)
Perhaps I should suggest YOP make a thread for those everyday words we misspell (did I mispell that?).
My bugbare, bugbear?? is draws instead of drawers. So keep it up spellchecker we need more like you!
Mands
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Dalbyj
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Hope Springs a Kernal
Posts: 2,378
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Post by Dalbyj on Oct 24, 2006 12:37:35 GMT 12
Thank you Mands .. I notice it has been changed! Such a relief to the pedantic ones like me.
Heaven forbid we ever start speaking Australian!
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Dalbyj
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Hope Springs a Kernal
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Post by Dalbyj on Oct 26, 2006 14:58:29 GMT 12
Dear Mands, Well, its coming up to that time of year again ... when the malls are blasting 'Snoopys Christmas' every time you go to do your shopping. Do you think it would be rude to take my own stereo and play INXS as loud as I can to cover the sickly sounds? Signed, rock music lover
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Post by dragoneyes on Nov 3, 2006 16:48:25 GMT 12
dear mands im going to melbourne for a visit in febraury is there a pill i can take so i dont come back sounding like an aussie?
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Manukarose
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Post by Manukarose on Nov 3, 2006 16:53:46 GMT 12
Dear AnxiousAussieVisitor
There is a special amino acid within the secret brew of Tui Beer ... might also be present in DB and Guiness ... my advice ... would be to drink moderately some of this brew daily to build up immunity and to make sure it is not lacking in your diet on your return to NZ.
This should make your voice box resistant to any aussie slang or lingo and will retain your perfect kiwi accent.
Mands
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Post by dragoneyes on Nov 3, 2006 17:28:48 GMT 12
thanks mands ill go and crack a few now cheers for that answer
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Dalbyj
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Hope Springs a Kernal
Posts: 2,378
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Post by Dalbyj on Nov 18, 2006 12:04:18 GMT 12
Dear Mands
Whenever I go shopping I always seem to need something from the top shelf. Unfortunately I am only 5 foot tall in my shoes ... obviously this makes reaching high up items very difficult. Is there any way you can help me with this?
Many thanks, Shorty
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